This item is just in from the 12 dimension: A nude sunbather is suing for the right to bask au naturel with his rat terrier, Cheekies, at his side, or something. The plaintiff, Mark DelCore, says he needs Cheekies with him because he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. He also needs full sun exposure as a balm for a skin condition he links to World Trade Center toxins. (Darn those terrorists!) Those are the arguments DelCore presents in his suit, filed in federal court in Central Islip, NY.

DelCore, of Forest Hills, Queens, NY, favors a "clothing optional" beach near Kismet, on Fire Island. Officials at the Fire Island National Seashore say that DelCore's nudity is welcome, but Cheekies is not.

The park allows only guide dogs on its swimming beaches. DelCore says his dog's healing presence qualifies him as a "service dog". Rough.

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City Hall Jude shares an email she received about 3 things we should all think about. They are cows, The Constitution and The Ten Commandments:

1. COWS: Does anyone besides me else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But at the same time, they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each illegal alien a cow.

2. THE CONSTITUTION: They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.

3. THE TEN COMMANDMENTS: I've got a sneaking suspicion that the real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse is you cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians - it would create a hostile work environment.

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In 1963, I sat transfixed to the seat of a downtown Knoxville theater as the great shockmeister Alfred Hitchcock brought to the screen one of his scariest efforts ever, The Birds. I watched for almost two hours as feathered maniacs did horrible things to the beautiful Tippi Hendren. I was mighty glad to be back out in the sunlight and amongst friendly "normal" birds again after the movie had ended. I was mighty glad that it was only a Hollywood "made up" picture. Then, this past week I saw this story, also from California, this time in San Luis Obispo:

There's pecking disorder in the city. Brewer's blackbirds, apparently protecting their young during nesting season, are swooping down and attacking the heads of pedestrians. "On a bad day, we get about 15 attacks an hour," Nautical Bean coffee house business manager Brett Jones said. "I thought about naming a coffee after them." California logic.

Customers are often seen flailing their hands over their heads as they walk toward the Laguna Village Shopping Center cafe. Last week, while walking into the Nautical Bean Espresso Cafe, customer Charlie Magnuson felt tiny claws tug on his peppered hair.

"Once you've been scratched," he said, "it does scare you a little, but not really, because they won't go for your eyes. I think it's a fun thing as long as no one gets hurt." I think the eyes came in the second reel.

Wildlife experts said the birds are simply protecting their young. Capt. David Fox of the California Department of Fish and Game said the behavior is a common defense mechanism. Once nesting season is over at the end of summer, the harassment of Nautical Bean patrons will likely stop, he said. Fun experts couldn't be reached for comment.

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