The upcoming winter break from preschool is meant to be a time of fun, relaxation and family togetherness. But that doesn't mean your preschooler stops learning. It just means she learns in a different way. In fact, this season gives your child some special chances to work on two important skills that will help her in school - respect and responsibility. You can reinforce respect by having your preschooler:
Practice good manners. The holiday season often includes a visit to someone's home. This is a great opportunity for your child to practice saying hello and goodbye, to ask permission before touching something, and to take turns with toys or when getting a snack. Remind her to always use her “magic words,” - please, thank you, you're welcome and excuse me.
Listen to different adults. Your child may see some adults during this season that she doesn't usually see. This can be confusing for a preschooler, but it's also a good chance for her to practice respect for adults. Say something like, “Mrs. Jones is Mommy's friend. This is her house. I need you to use your nicest voice and follow her directions while we are here.”
You can reinforce responsibility by having your preschooler:
Help others. There are dozens of ways your preschooler can help out this season. She can hand you things you need. She can help you put things away. She can go to the mailbox with you and drop in letters or cards. She can call family members to the dinner table.
Show appreciation. Your child should of course say thank you if she receives a gift. She can also tell you what to write on a thank-you note to the giver, or she can draw a “thank you” picture.
Source: Rick Lavoie, “Home (at Yours and Others) for the Holidays!” SchawbLearning.org
Restore calm before trying to teach your preschooler a lesson
Your child has done something wrong. You'd like him to learn from his mistake. But now there's another problem - your child is so upset about what happened that he is nearly hysterical. What are you going to do now? The answer - hard as it is - is wait. Real discipline (and the word means to teach, not to punish!) can only happen after your child has let go of his strong emotions. If you can be patient, you can help your child calm himself, and then get to the root of his original problem. Both lessons will help him in school and in life. Here are three steps to take:
1. Help your child learn calming activities. This may take some trial and error because every child is different. Some calming activities to try include being held, cuddling with a stuffed animal or taking a bath.
2. Wait until your child is calm. Then ask him if he is ready to talk about what made him cry. If he says no, wait a few minutes, but let him know that the two of you do need to talk.
3. Avoid blaming your child when it's time to talk. The incident is over. Focus less on the past and more on how he should behave in future.
Source: T. Berry Brazelton, M.D. and Joshua D. Sparrow, M.D., Touchpoints 3 to 6: Your Child's Emotional and Behavioral Development
Are you helping your child deal with shyness?
Shyness may prevent your preschooler from making friends or participating fully in preschool. Many preschoolers need a little help feeling confident and comfortable in groups. Take this quiz to see if you're encouraging your child to come out of his shell. Answer yes or no to the following statements:
1. I steer my child toward small-group play. I invite just a few children to our house.
2. I arrange play dates with younger children. I realize my child may feel more at ease with them.
3. I prepare my child for social situations. I tell him who will be at the party, what will happen and what he might say.
4. I avoid labeling my child as “shy” or making him feel bad about his shyness. I let him know I love and accept him.
5. I gently encourage my child to try new social activities. I don't push too hard. I praise him for making such attempts.
How well are you doing? Each yes answer means your child is on the way to overcoming his shyness. For no answers try the ideas in the quiz.
Source: The December 2006 issue of Parents make the difference!®
Encourage your preschooler to think about results of actions
One of a preschooler's jobs is to begin to think for herself. She won't be able to learn this if parents or other adults are always supplying her with the “right” answers or giving her their judgments about what she has done. Encourage your child to draw more conclusions about her own actions by:
Telling her, in a quiet way, what you observe. Example: You hear a crash in the other room and you know your child has probably broken something. She comes to see you in tears. Instead of pouncing on her, try, “You look sad, sweetie.” This gives her the chance to tell you what happened and what she thinks about it.
Waiting. Most children, especially preschoolers, may not be able to share their thoughts right away. Example: Your child had an argument with a friend. Say, “You seem upset with Katie,” and then say nothing. Sit quietly with your child until she sorts out her reply.
Listening. Once your child is ready to talk, give her your full attention.
Source: Don Weinhouse, Encouraging Potential in Young Children: A Guidebook for Parents
Worth Quoting
“Start your child's day with love and encouragement and end the day the same way.” - Zig Ziglar
Mary Susan Hale is the coordinator of the parent/community involvement program for the Middlesboro School System
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