According to the British Institute of Grassland and Environmental Research, farmed animals are responsible for one-quarter of methane emissions worldwide. The institute wants to change the diet of cattle and sheep to include high amounts of white clover and birdsfoot trefoil. Those plants are high in sugar content making them more digestible, thus less gas producing. In theory, methane emissions from farm animals could be reduced by half.
One cow can produce 25-50 gallons of methane gas in one day. Instead of reducing that amount it occurs to me that we could make use of it to provide energy. One would think that a cattle-itic converter could be built to filter and collect gas expelled by animals. A simple collection tank would be mounted on the animal. The farmer would empty the tank into a larger holding tank each day to be collected in a manner similar to the way milk is collected for processing. At a central location the gas could be burned to create electric energy. They might even be able to refill grill gas bottles with the naturally produced fuel. I'll leave it to the scientists to figure out how to mount the tanks on cows, sheep, llamas, deer, goats and other ruminants.
Last week a high-speed chase from Natalia to San Antonio, Texas ended when a Ford Expedition crashed and rolled. Three illegal aliens were killed, 12 were injured, and the other five came out muy bien. That's right folks, 20 criminal aliens in one SUV at speeds over 100 MPH. That brings up the subject of another needful thing. Obviously the eight seatbelts and front airbags are inadequate safety features when the vehicle is overloaded by a dozen bodies. Maybe the auto companies could develop a complete surround air bag to deploy around everything inside the vehicle. Auxiliary seatbelts on the luggage rack might be a good idea too. Actually circus clown carmakers should have thought of this a long time ago.
A third needful thing is already on the market. According to Fort Lauderdale Fla. Mayor Jim Naugle, the city has a problem with homosexual activity in public restrooms. He wants to install robotic toilets that permit occupancy for only a short period of time before the door automatically opens. The self-cleaning automatic toilet sells for a quarter million dollars and weighs over 11 tons. Naugle believes that a door opening 30 seconds or one minute after closing will deter sodomite activity in the facility. Some robo-potties have already been installed in the homosexual meccas of San Francisco, Atlanta, and New York. I don't know if the threat of pubic exposure will deter perverted activity. However, a public toilet that is disinfected between each user does have considerable appeal to those of us who use the facility for its intended purpose.
Ed Baldwin is a staff writer for the Claiborne Progress. He can be reached via e-mail at ebaldwin@claiborneprogress.net.
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