The University of Michigan at Dearborn, the Kansas City International Airport, and the Minneapolis Community and Technical College are just three of the public locations where foot-washing stations have been installed to accommodate Muslims. Frequent foot washing accompanied by prayer while facing Mecca is a tenet of the Moslem faith. So is the killing of non-Muslems but that is another subject. The fact that tax dollars are being used to accommodate one religion over another appears to have escaped the notice of the "separation of church and state" crowd.

It appears that this country is encouraging all sorts of religious customs to the exclusion of traditional American practices. So, after careful consideration, I've decided to join the numerous minorities demanding special treatment based on religion. I now believe that every airport, college, and courthouse should have foot-washing stations available. Come to think of it, we should install footbaths in every public building.

Just to be on the safe side, there are a few other accommodations we need. Let's start with Hindu sacred cows roaming free, both indoors and out. I'm sure 300 passengers on an airplane would not mind their flight being delayed because of a cow grazing alongside the runway. Congressional hearings would be much more interesting with cattle meandering through the legislative halls in Washington - and much more accurate.

It's time to bring the snakes out of the closet. Since some folks routinely handle poisonous snakes as part of their worship, the reptiles should be available everywhere. After all, we can't all make it back to our home church when away for business or pleasure. The rattlesnakes and copperheads could slither between the cows at Wal-Mart or the middle school.

Certain groups of people, particularly in the U.S. southwest, incorporate the hallucinogenic peyote into their religious practice. If one of those people happens to be passing through the Atlanta airport, shouldn't peyote be available in the gift shop or in vending machines? Absolutely!

All public locations should be equipped with a bowl of holy water, candles, and a crucifix. Special rooms should be set aside for folks to shout and dance when so moved. Government offices and all commercial businesses must be closed on Saturday to accommodate the Jewish population. The lawn of every courthouse and city hall in America should be adorned with a statue of Buddha. Each and every community needs an altar for human sacrifice. Voodoo charms must be made available at taxpayer cost and obtainable on request. A mound of dirt and three acres of weeds should be accessible to every resident who desires to worship mother earth. Each county needs to erect a planetarium with a virtual full moon for Wicca's to practice their faith more than once a month. I'm sure other religious groups have rites not listed here. We must learn of them and accommodate their requirements.

Perhaps it is not such a good idea to agree with everybody. Feet can be washed with an 89-cent bottle of spring water, cows belong in pastures and barns, and snakes should stay in their natural habitat. Other religious practices have their own place and time. We don't all observe all of those practices, neither should we foot the bill for those who do. Please disregard my suggestions listed above.

Ed Baldwin is a staff writer for the Claiborne Progress. He can be reached via e-mail at ebaldwin@claiborneprogress.net.