The Bell County Council Against Abuse is determined to help. It works in conjunction with the Family Life Abuse Center to provide services and guidance to victims of domestic violence. October is Domestic Abuse Awareness Month, and the council recently sponsored two area candlelight vigils in honor of victims of domestic abuse.
Gathered in the parking lot of Middlesboro City Hall for the first-ever candlelight vigil for domestic abuse victims in Middlesboro earlier this week, several victims and supporters heard guest speakers talk about the effects of domestic abuse.
One domestic abuse victim, Jane*, spoke nervously to those gathered. She told her story — abused for six years, she and her son are now in a shelter.
Jane wasn’t the only one abused in the household.
“He taught my son how to be violent,” she said. “My son has lived through abuse since the day he was born.”
According to Jane, her husband locked her in the house at times. He also made her carry a tape recorder and tape her conversations during the day.
“So he would know who I talked to and how long,” she said.
If he thought she had “talked too much” he punished her by not allowing her to leave the house for extended amounts of time.
“He would take the gas out of my car or things off the motor so I couldn’t go anywhere,” Jane said.
After trying to leave the situation several times, Jane said her son finally gave her the courage to leave.
“It was for him, more than anything. He’d seen so much anger, so much hurt.”
Jane got involved in church, and her support system has helped tremendously.
“It’s hard and it is scary,” she said. “But I know we’re safe now and we’re where no one will hurt us.”
Bell County District Court Judge Robert Costanzo handles domestic violence cases in his courtroom, and sees the effects of it on this community.
“Approximately 30,000 petitions for protective orders are filed with the Administrative Office of the Courts each year,” said Costanzo.
He offered some startling statistics about the dangers of domestic abuse: “Sixteen and a half percent of all murders occur within family,” he said. “And 58 percent of all spousal assaults end in some form of physical injury.”
Also, three-fourths of women who are murdered are killed by either their husband or lover, he added.
“But there is help out there. There are programs to help,” he stated. “Victims need the support of friends, family and the community.”
There are several types of abuse that can occur, including physical, emotional, sexual, psychological and environmental. Between 40 and 60 percent of victims who are abused in other ways will be victims of sexual assault as well.
“Unfortunately, children are the ones who suffer the most,” Costanzo said, adding that 80 percent of domestic abuse will occur in families with small children in the home.
Costanzo encouraged those at the vigil to “look around at your own family and community. Educate yourself about abuse.”
Local talent Keyla Caldwell sang for the group, and Meryl Ward with the Council Against Abuse encouraged those present to remain vigilant in their efforts to prevent abuse. Sheryl Caudel, Victim Advocate with the Family Life Abuse Center, told the crowd about her program as well. The Center is a 20-bed emergency shelter providing shelter and services to victims of domestic violence.
“We’re living in a shelter now, but that’s fine,” said Jane. “We’re not hungry, and we’re not going to get beat up.”
Jane offered her encouragement to those still in abusive situations.
“If you can get the strength to leave, just go,” she said. “There’s help out there. Keep going and pray.”
“We’re gonna survive. We’re gonna make it.”
*Name has been changed.
Marisa Anders is Managing Editor for the Daily News. She can be reached via e-mail at manders@middlesborodailynews.com.
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